What is death? Can we ever really grasp the concept of something so horrible? How do we find a way to heal when EVERYTHING feels completely broken? February 7, 2016 my family and several other people lost a dear friend. My family called him Uncle Tom because even though he wasn’t related to us, he was one of those people that defied the saying that blood is thicker than water. He is family and he always will be.
Hearing the news was bad because your first initial reaction is to cry and scream and hyperventilate. Then you think about it and you’re like he’s not really gone because he was literally just here yesterday. Then you think about the memories that come along with that person and you don’t know where to begin and you can’t figure out where you’re supposed to close that chapter in the book. So, where do we begin?
Thoughts: I think today about my depression and how many people suffer from it and I think of this amazing man who died of a tragedy. He has a son who is 3 years old who loved him. I think of the day that he grows up and finally understands that his father died a horrible death and won’t ever gain closure of that. I wonder what my families life would be like without our uncle and his lively contributions to our everyday lives.
I facetimed with my family Saturday night all surrounded by each other at the lake house and who popped up on the screen? Uncle Tom! He said to me “I miss you Kenna” and I said “I miss you too, Tom” and he said “No, I really miss you!” and I said “Oh yeah I know” and we all laughed, especially him. You don’t picture life without certain people in it because you know they are meant to be there. Tom was one of those people.
I sat in the chapel for about 2 hours last night. Part of it talking to my mom and a part of it listening to music that reminded me of Tom. (Tom loved to dance and sing) I then decided after being stubborn, I would talk to God. I felt like I had to considering the statue of Jesus and Mary sitting right in front of me. I just got pissed and I asked God so many questions and I waited for answers but I received none. I asked Tom so many questions and I received none. I asked for Tom back and all I could think about is how he really is gone. I won’t be able to give him one last hug goodbye and one last kiss hello.
We mourn the loss of a father, friend, uncle, family, good soul, pure hearted, and loving person. Days without you will be a lot less exciting but we celebrate your life every single day because I know that is what you would want us to do. Thank you for making my family yours and letting us create this life with you. I am so proud to have known you. I love you, I miss you, and I will never forget you. RIP Uncle Tom
“No, no, no. I’m Uncle Tom and this is your house too. Its our house now” -Tom